11 posts tagged “team logan”
Today was a really busy day. We had to get me shoes for D's work Christmas party and I chose shoes that I don't believe I will wear that often over the ones I loved. I really regret getting them. The other ones were even on sale. I love shoes but why do they have to be such a labour when choosing them? Then we had to go to the comic book store and now we are up to date on Spike, Buffy and Angel. Our next mission is to actually read them. We are about five issues behind on Angel. Appalling. Then we went to Petco and got a friend for Nate. I haven't named him yet because I'm leaning towards either Jace or Seth, after Jace Wayland from The Mortal Instruments or Seth from Wicked Lovely and I would be heartbroken if I had to say either of them had died. So for now my little black moor goldfish is Little Fish. Then we went grocery shopping which was an ordeal because I was there. It had to be twice as expensive because I like to shop off the shopping list. It's like I'm the bane of D's life at times. I did get pickles, silk nog and raspberry sherbet. Score! Then we had to go to the boss's Christmas party. I was not excited about it because I have the social graces of a rock. He did have a nice house and the fresh pineapple was yummy. I even had a glass of bubbly and reminded myself that I find champagne god awful. We came home and made french toast with cinnabon bread. D's a master chef and it was so good. Oh and in between the grocery store and the party I wrapped D's Christmas gifts and I love Christmas. I keep wanting to talk to him about them and that would just be bad. I'm so excited for Christmas when he will open them and hopefully like them. I know three things that he will love. The rest is all up to the gods.
Tomorrow I'm meeting Team Logan at Mo's in Burbank at lunch. Tam will be there and I haven't seen her since last Christmas. I'll get to show Belle my new silver nail polish. She will love it. I hope to make plans with Susan and Belle to get lunch or dinner this week sometime. I don't see the group, well hardly ever. It'll be good to touch bases.
I have to sleep sometime soon. I am not tired. It's 3:30 in the morning. My sleep is a mess. Stupid red eye. I haven't been the same since. I doubt sitting here listening to music and updating my last.fm helps.
I've had this problem for a while. I can't seem to write out what is going on inside. I don't know, maybe to me it means I'd make it real if I committed it to writing. I don't think I really understand it. I described it today in therapy as it being akin to rape. Like I was violating myself to talk about these things anywhere outside of therapy. Which is all kind of bullshit, but it doesn't change how it feels. There are things going on.... I wish I could write them out. Maybe a good stream of conscious would clear the air. But at the moment I can't. Repressed and clueless. Everything has been pushed down to the point where I can't shake up the can for fear of colossal failure of all in the vessel. The thing that makes me sad is this journal used to be a safe place to feel things out. I feel so removed from that person I was and I don't think it's a good thing. I am more than movies, tv, music and books, but that is all I can write about. And to prove myself wrong I will turn the rest of this post into those shallow interests, because that is what life has become to me.
This past weekend I went to Susan's and had a sleepover with her and Belle. It was really nice because I got to have alone time with Belle on Saturday and that always means the world to me. If there is one person who gets the nuances and essence of what I feel it's her and touching base makes me feel less alone in the world. Susie got home in the evening and we all had to settle in to our weekend slumber party. We played Life and I of course had to take the term sleepover literally and I was basically asleep by 9:30. But no one was upset by that. The following morning I read until everyone woke up and then we rematched Life. It was a very chill weekend. And Susie is probably one of the sweetest people I know. I am really glad I got to work on my stupid jealousy. I like hanging out with both of them. I still sometimes feel like I am invading something but that is probably my own insecurities and not something they are putting off.
On Sunday I got a phone call from Kev. My boy is in Palm Springs with Janaki and his family and he wanted to know if we could meet up. I am over the freaking moon. I miss him and he's a little bit of home and I want to make it out to see him so it will be like I am touching familiat things again. And to meet Ja too. She has done so much for him. It almost seems like we should have met a million years ago. So D mentioned that maybe he could leave early on Friday and drive us down there. It would be neat too because he's really close to the Salton Sea and I've always wanted to see it. So we will se what happens.
The other big thing for this past weekend was that I picked up my contacts. I am going back to the eye doctor tomorrow with them because I am not seeing with them as well as maybe I should. I do like them and I am having few problems with the actual wearing of them. I have to say that the one problem that I am having that is unacceptable is that I am not seeing clearly to read. That one has to be ironed out. Tomorrow I'll talk to the eye doctor and we will go from there.
I got The Black Dagger Brotherhood; An Insider's Guide the other day and I have been pouring through it. I love it a hundred times more than the Dark-Hunter Companion. I am reading the dossiers right now. I've read Wrath's, Rhage's and Z's, I wish that there were something about the heroines in here but it is pretty testosterone centric. Not that I have a problem with the brotherhood. I did just read the part where she mentions her over all arc; Wrath, Rhage, Zsadist, Butch, Vishous, Phury, Rhevenge, Payne, John Michael and Tohrment. Very interesting. I wish they had introduced Payne early. I would have liked to have a feeling of her and V together. And I don't know if I can get behind a John Micheal story, I wonder if it will be him and Xhex.
I am so ass backwards and behind on reading. I have library books which I've already renewed once. A bunch of books which I have yet to read and then I bought some new romance novels the last few days, the newest Julia Quinn novel and the newest ones of Stephanie Laurens and Lisa Kleypas. As to what I'm reading now... The Insider's Guide, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, Vampire Romance Anthology, Masquerade and I keep rereading parts of the Black Dagger books. I am all over and it's in a bad way.
I haven't had a chance to watch SYTYCDC from last week yet. I just finished downloading it like an hour ago. I am anxious to see how it rolls. Maybe D can put aside hockey for it for a little while tonight.
Oh and on the topic of new things. Tonight I'm going to the gym for the first time in months to work out on the bike. I'm not at all excited about it. But I'm going.
This weekend is going to be a separate weekend for D and I. D is going to the Scream Awards with Spike folks and I have hopes of going to a slumber party at Susan. A Team Logan Slumber party and it's been years since we had one of those. Well at least one that includes me. It should be fun for both of us.
You know those days that just leave you feeling like you are on the chopping block? Today was one of them. I didn't know the international language for small talk, I laughed inappropriately at things that weren't funny and just generally felt out of place. Today felt very out of sorts. As I write this I am in bed and feel like it's the first correct situation of the day. Thank the gods for bed.
Today I saw two movies, Jumper, from Netflix, and Get Smart in the theater. I didn't hate Jumper and to it's credit it seemed to fly right by. I think Jamie Bell played my favorite character. I'm not a Hayden Christensen fan. I generally like his movies more when his character dies at the end. I know, my bad. Rachel Bilson didn't do much for me either way. She just didn't move me. I didn't feel it, like it was a soulless performance. Just there to collect the check. All in all, I am happy I didn't pay $14.00 to see it in the theater.
As for Get Smart... it was rather predictable. Wind up Steve Carell and let him do his schtick. Personally, I am bored with his character. I'd like for him to branch out to something else. Leave Michael on The Office set. But looking passed that Anne Hathaway was pretty good with her brand of physical comedy and Dwayne Johnson stole a lot of the scenes he was in. I would like to mention Masi Oka was adorable. I am still holding over from Heroes. I hope he gets more recognition and lands even bigger roles in blockbuster movies. I am a Masi Oka fan.
After we watched the movie, we went to Pinkberry. Neither Connie nor myself had ever tried it before. I know we are woefully behind the times. I thoroughly enjoyed mine which I had with kiwi and raspberries. I wanted seconds and that was not a good idea. I had already blown my WW points for the day in the theater when I ate a box of Junior Mints. I have been really bad with my points the last few days. Bad, bad me.
It's supposed to be rather warm the next few days. Today was in the nineties and tomorrow should reach well into the hundreds. We haven't made any plans of yet... knowing that I sleep the day away leaves it to be even harder to plan for things. I am sure we won't want to spend the entire day in the apartment. We will have to see where the day takes us.
Belle came over and, in her usual spirit of instigation, got me hooked on something that I then became obsessed with, So You Think You Can Dance Australia. I watched it until 2am last night and then as soon as I woke up this afternoon, I continued it. My favorites were Henry, Rhys and Jack and for girls, Kate, Rhiannon and Demi. I guessed the top 2 after Belle went and spoiled me for the gender of the winner. But the show was glorious and was a good warm up for So Yo Think You Can Dance season 4, starting this week. I had my favorite routines and I thought about posting them here but there were too many but I thought that I would have to say my favorite was the Singing in the Rain routine choreographed by Supple. I kind of wish Supple would come and do some of the routines here. But I am excited because the winner is in Hollywood and I wouldn't mind if I were to see them live. I did a very good job there not spoiling anyone who might want to watch... much better a job than Belle.
As for SYTYCD America, *sighs*, I am really excited but I wish that some of the people they choose weren't complete strangers to me. I like Kourtni and Twitch and I know I don't like the attitude of Katee at all, but the majority of the others are like strangers and I am still morning the absence of Evan. I will be tuned in and watching this week, very excited to see who washes out first and who steals the show.
When I finished The Blue Girl I started This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen. It's not what I thought it would be either. Much older in age appropriateness then I had thought. I haven't gotten past the first chapter yet but the writing style is very much high school girl oriented and the main character seems like an unexceptional teen age girl. I don't think it would be fair for me to make any other assumptions about the book without giving it more of a read. Although it would be fair to say that when I am reading it, every line and delivery reminds me of a movie. This book would adapt well and two of her other books were adapted into the film, How to Deal with Mandy Moore. I could see this going the same way. Is that premature? I don't think so.
From there we went to San Simeon to Elephant Seal Beach. The last time we were here the look out wasn't built up and the viewing area was small with a small path that took you further down the shore. That is all changed now, it's all built up and it has this deck that follows the elephant seals area pretty far down. The elephant seals are huge and they are ruckus, making a fair bit of noise. And I don't remember it smelling the way it did today. It smelled almost like a barn. Not really a bad smell, but it wasn't the best smell either. I took some video of them. I will upload that to here too.
Somedays I spend more time trying to think of a title for my entries than I spend with the content. Today was nearly one of those days. I sat more or less lost in thought willing my clever bone to hand me the perfect title and it was all for naught.
On to the meat of my entry...
Today I went to meet Heather for a birthday get together. Susan and Connie were there, and I only see them a handful of times a year anymore. I feel bad because everytime we get together it's commented that we should meet up more often but we never do. It makes me think back to when I lived in Long Beach and I saw them weekly. Now I live closer to Heather and Susan and see them less than ever. Then again... there is the issue of me being not really fun anymore, so that has to play a part in this too. I just don't share an interest in the things that first brought us together. And they only need to hear me say 'no' to them so many times before they stopped including me. There isn't much right in me whining now that I don't have them as friends when I worked hard to push them away.
I spent the end of the week reading a slew of Sherrilyn Kenyon stuff;
some BAD novels and novellas. The last day I reread Unleash the Night
and I started Seize the Night today. I love Wren's story and Valerius
and Tabitha are so good together. The novellas were good too... I
especially liked Until Death Do Us Part about Velkan and Esperetta.
It's about the daughter of Dracula. Which reminds me that I still have
Mina by Marie Kiraly. I do want to make time to read this and I did swear to D that I would read Sword Dancer too. I wish I wasn't so thoroughly obsessed with Kenyon.
Tomorrow I need to make an attempt to study for this test I am going to take on Wednesday. I'm going to take an hour and try to make some index study cards. I don't really want to fail it but if I do nothing than I can expect nothing and in that I'll best be able to control what will happen. Dr. Moore would probably call that distorted thinking but it is so hard to take risks. And as scary as it is to fail, it's scarier to be in this class and not be manic. I don't think like I used to and it makes things harder.
Today's entry is not really hearts and flowers. Maybe I will try harder to not be angry and despondent when next I come here to post.
I intended to make a post about yesterday this morning and then wrote to Nielle before I did. So I'm going to just cut and paste my email to her in here.
***posting***
Hey, sorry I didn't write yesterday. D and I woke up and went to the
101 cafe. I was muddy-headed and as I loped in I swung the door open
and hit the person behind me. We walked in to the seating area and the
woman I hit, who was still behind me greeted someone else and moved by
us. I noticed at that point that I assaulted Kate Walshe who plays
Addison Shepard on Greys Anatomy. She looks freakily the same as the
character on the show... you know red headed with a side of BITCH.
So then we went to Target and I got an awesome new sweater and we got sheets. We came home and cleaned and my bedroom is so so so pretty now. We also moved around the livingroom. We watched a bunch of TV and I worked on a crapload of photos. We went to shower at like 2am and I stayed in the tub until 4 reading. I got out and started writing. Which meant I should provide you with a first and last paragrph as promised.
Men don't think about the particulars of apartment complex decor until it is unavoidable. Oddly enough, my current circumstance had me redecorating the lobby of the Shangrai Lodge with a longing most men save for the undressing of catholic school girls. I couldn't help but wish for some strategically place faux ficus as I embarressingly stood outside of apartment 109, hoping that in some odd planetary mishap earth was now unpopulated and there would be no witness to my shame.
...
That explained alot.
So I passed out while writing so the last paragraph was... not.
After sleeping for 4 hours I woke up to my phone. Julie was sending over an electrician to see to the not working plug in our apartment. Since I have been sitting here making the wedding ribbon shadow boxes I've been meaning to make for 2 months now.
I think my plans for today are going to inventory a crap load
of books on bookmooch, work on some more photos. D said we should have
the wedding site up this evening. We also have been talking a load
about my site and the new manic. We are going to watch a bunch of what
I have on my Tivo and some of the stuff I've downloaded. I have season
2 of Queer as Folk to watch.
***end email***
And pictures to boot.
3 from the Wedding...
For the last hour I've laid abed and read. I plan to read more in the next hour but for some reason I was bothered by the fact that I had not taken the time to write an entry today. A trivial thing but it was causing me a great deal of distress. The fact is not lost to me that I did nothing mildly interesting enough to warrant my needing to commit it's doing to an entry. There must just simply be a part of me that is vastly entertained with my own with and written ditherings.
I started reading three books yesterday and finished one, I am 5 or 6 chapters into the others. The Philbrick book, In the Heart of the Sea, which is not at all a boring read as I had first commented, has become quite fascinating. I find much of the facts regarding the time and lifestyle, it's a history of Nantucket whaling industry of the early 19th century, horribly sad and somehow compelling. I would not hesitate to say that it is a fair assessment of humanity which is only minutely advanced in it's treatment of life outside of human brotherhood. Although let us face the facts that we sadly fail humanity most times as well. The book, 100 pages in, is mesmerising in it's accounts, which led to Melville's penning of the fiction--Moby Dick.
So to prove further that I am developing a slight obsession with all things bookily, I got another Bookmooch requested book today. Sue Monk Kidd's The Mermaid Chair arrived. I have a scary pile of books next to my bed that I need to start widdling down. Either that or the pile will need to be arranged more architecturally sound. As it is at the moment it keeps collapsing about itself like the early step pyramids of Egypt, but less visually appealling. I am going to keep up with the three books at once thing and I grabbed my other Jillian Hunter book to start when I finish this. I need to have the frivolous with the serious. It makes for my dreams to be less like a horror movie and more like a Tanguay inspired carnival produced by Joss Whedon and
David Lynch. It's difficult to explain the things I see in my head.
I did watch some TV tonight with D. We watched America's Next Top Model and all I can say about that is that I hope to god that Monique dies. Then we watched Bones. David Boreanaz is sexy when shirtless. He has that muscle indention at his pelvis thing that is hott. I still love the show even if I'm not accepting the new implementations well. After that we watched Grey's Anatomy. I love love love this show. It hasn't lost anything in all the time it's been on and I love the writers. Is Shonda Rhimes the sole writer? If so I declare brilliance of the gods embodied by the storyline of the show's creator. *sigh*
The last two days I have worked on photos of the wedding and pre-wedding to-dos. I will post 9 more photos... but I am going to do it differently tonight. I'll post 3 each from 3 seperate days.
The day my sister, mom, Nielle and I went to Malibu to go to Leo Carrillo State Beach. It was their 2nd day here and the three of us just went up and hung out for the day. It was laidback and relaxing.
The day prior to the wedding we had a picnic at the Cabrillo State Beach in San Pedro. We played in the tidepools and ate foods we weren't supposed to eat and there were some water adventures.
I got a package yesterday from the very esteemable Nick Coe. Have I ever mentioned in this journal that I love Nick? No? Well assure yourself I love Nick. I'm in a bit of a pickle when Nick is sweet because it makes me say that I hate Nick. It's only because I'm an emotional child and him being nice makes me all mushy inside. So this week I love and hate Nick. His package (that is not a euphemism for anything) contained two books that I've been wanting, Sweet Thursday and The Moon is Down, both by Steinbeck. I am over the moon, which is not down that he looked at my Amazon list and got them for me. I want to marry Nick. Well except for it being all illegal and the weirdness of my proposing over the gift of books.
Today I started my wonderful book about the Whaleship Essex and I'm hoping that the author warms up to the telling of the story or I will be in tears soon. Sadly, I admit that on page 2, I found my head curled up, wheezing coming from my throat and that not even 5 paragraphs in I was asleep. But I've decided that I will do what I've done with other slow starting books and for every chapter I read of this book I will just read a few other chapters from another. Just until I get into it's flow. Then I will be more used to the author's delivery and not be so bored.
Also today, I spent a few hours talking to Kev on gTalk. We haven't had much catch up time in a while. I sent him pictures as did he to me. I can't believe how different things are a mere 12 years later. There was a Dog Eat Dog show at the Knit and it was a bit of a "family reunion". Seeing the pictures I felt so old. God it wasn't that long ago was it? They all grew up. Not me, no no way.
As I posted earlier MSN has the new season premiere of Veronica Mars up on it's site. I really liked it. I have said this a million times since yesterday that I hate Veronica and love the new episode. I'm just like that. I don't want that girl and her ungrateful heart around me and mine. D and I watched House tonight... which was fucking hilarious. One of the best House episodes going in my opinion. We watched Heroes again. There seem to be a few small differences from the pre-air version but nothing earth shattering. I still am lukewarm about it. I did like the episode of Standoff from this week. D told me tonight that Tim Minear is going to be taking over as ... I can't remember what. This makes me sad. I love the brilliant Minearman... but it dooms the show. Sadly he is touched with the Whedoncurse. Nothing he works on can make it on TV it dies a 12 episode death and goes to DVD. No matter how brilliant his shows are there is no hope for them. He's pissed off some exec with a god complex and all things Minear-y get lopped off.
I'm entertaining thoughts of a bubble bath or perhaps ice tea. As my mind has moved to serious matters this must mean I should post 9 more photos and move on with my non-living-like-living. Without further tam-do....
