8 posts tagged “reading”
This year Susan, Belle, D and I went to Anaheim to see an Angels and Blue Jays game. D surprised me because right in the middle of the park is a huge waterlandscape. Is waterlandscape even a word? It's a fountain, and I wish we were closer to it. It kind of gave me a water hazard feeling from putt putt. We had pretty nice seats, well in my opinion. We were on the field and up the firstbase line. Maybe if I watched any of the game I would have something else to say about things. It was a pretty okay place to sit for the fireworks and that was what really was important to me.
I, of course, have no idea what the score was... I read during the game. I wasn't the only one, because Belle, who was appalled by the lack of skill the Blue Jays were showing, read Fragile Things. She assures me it isn't any better than I thought, but she has pulled through and read much further than I did. I do know that the Angels won by a lot and they didn't play all of the last inning because of it. Baseball is not like hockey and I just don't really care to know the intricacies of it. I do wish Canada had a better showing. They probably let us win because of it being a holiday and all.
The fireworks were really nice. I am going to go down nostalgia lane and talk a bit about what kind of magical wonderness fireworks mean to me. When I was a child my mom and I would go to Lake Ariel, that is in PA, and we would set up in the church yard by this big rock and we would get a pizza, from Kay's Pizza and we would 'ooo' and 'ahh' as the fireworks went off over the lake. A few times after I was married we went other places, one time was Lake Wallenpaupack and there was pizza there too. It was tradition in a world where there just wasn't any sort of traditions. This became really important to me. So now, as an adult, I have to re-enact this tradition to overcome this feeling of disconnection with that old life, that old me. Every year I have to go see the fireworks and remind myself that no matter how abnormal and warped my childhood was, I had this one normal thing. I had this one time when family was something. So fast forward 30 odd years and we come to this year. I was a little disappointed in my inability to capture the shots I wanted to with the camera, but as I got twenty some pictures, I need to get a grip and not cry too much.
You Can Dance for the performance show and results show this week and she wanted to know if I wanted to go. I sure as by golly did! I even channeled some Mary there. So I had to email Dr. Moore when I got home tonight about canceling therapy so that I can go on Monday. I am a little nervous about how I will go and deal with the crowd but I am really excited. Of course it is the week AFTER Matt and Kourtni were voted off though. Booo! I was disappointed because I still think Comfort and Jessica should have gone before Kourtni and Thayne should have gone rather than Matt. But it didn't go that way and I will have to watch Thayne and Jessica *ahem* entertain me on Monday. I wish it weren't so. The one thing I was happy and then disappointed by was seeing Lacey and Benji. Benji did a WCS for Joshua and Katee and it was really not impressive. Sad.
And lastly, Blood and Chocolate. After we got home from the game tonight I talked D into watching the movie with me. I had read enough criticism about the movie to know that it was vastly different from the book and that became apparent in the first minute of the film. I was mostly confused as I tried to figure out who was who and what was what. The adaptation was so horrible that it was a clusterfuck of lore and bits and pieces of the book with pure fabrication. I felt terrible for Hugh Dancy and fans of the book. Neither deserved the tripe this movie served up. It was no longer a coming of age story which was what made the book so interesting. They villanized one of the [heroes??] of the book. I didn't like him in the book but I really didn't like him in the movie. And then they defied one of the principle storylines of the book with Rafe and killed him off midway through. Hey sorry if I just spoiled you, but you didn't want to see this movie anyway. I want my memories of the mediocre book back... now I have this bad taste in my mouth and these horrible images in the back of my eyes. No wonder it only made 6million in the box office. Yes, six million. Everyone else was smarter than me and held off seeing it.
First thing first, Susan turned my eye to a James McAvoy interview with Ann Curry on Today that totally made me feel ashamed and dirty all at once. I can't get the embed button to work right but go here and watch it. The thing is as creepy as Curry is... I kind of see her point. It make me realize things about myself, as a woman and a predator, that I clearly need pointed out so that I can work on it. James McAvoy, I promise never to jump you, no matter how appealing the idea may seem when we cross paths. I'll take up bird watching or some other stalking based hobby that will work these kinks out in no time. ***SIGH***
Tonight D and I went to see Hancock at the Grove. I wasn't sure what to expect but I knew it would be entertaining and I wasn't disappointed. I give the film some high marks, I laughed quite a bit. Will Smith can act the panties off a part and he was perfect as Hancock. I almost think that after his steamy hot performance in Bad Boys, this may be "my favorite Will Smith movie". He's clearly not riding the hot and sexy train in this that he was in the Bad Boys franchise. On to other points on this film... I LOVED JASON BATEMAN. I don't know if I just never stopped loving him from Family Ties or if he just reiterates that every time I see him in something new. I thought he was perfect in this though. Charlize Theron kind of confuses me. I never know who she is supposed to be doing the warm cuddly scenes with because I kind of get that vibe from every scene she is with another actor. Maybe in this movie that was a good thing. I think I still liked her in Aeon Flux more than this movie though. I'm not saying she wasn't servicable and good... I'm just sayin'. I think the ending of the film is a bit to hollywood happily ever after. I would have liked them to do the sacrificing bit. I am happy to say that the overall story wasn't hurt or hindered by the lore and the history. I didn't care enough to point fingers and bitch. I say it again, I liked the movie. They could even do sequels with the set-up in the end. ??millions will see to that I'm sure.
I have been on a Harlequin Blaze kick the last few days and in the last two days alone I have read No Stopping Now by Dawn Atkins, One for the Road by Crystal Green, Swept Away, also by Dawn Atkins and now I'm reading French Kissing by Nancy Warren. I don't know how to describe the act of reading them but they are popcorn books. They are really small and straight forward, no real hooks, no calories. They are easy to devour. I only have maybe 3 or 4 left on the shelf though because I've read the little stockpile I had, so tonight I went on BookMooch and ordered 10 more. I will probably go through another period where I don't read them at all and that is fine. It really isn't like they take up any space if they sit on the shelf and await another lull. I just know that it would be hell if I did hit a low point and then didn't have any there to fill in the blues.
I was looking for another Sarah Dessen novel while I was at the bookstore and I was disappointed in their selection. I think I will probably give in and make an Amazon order sometime in the near future. I would love Someone Like You and Dreamland and they aren't usually stocked at the B&N at the Grove. I could also get Little Grrl Lost then as well, and no one can ever bitch about Amazon's prices. I will see how the week turns out.
Oh and books that I've started and then lost my interest in... Not that I had that as a topic at all, but it needed to be a subject of it's own. I started Victoria Alexander's The Perfect Wife and I read chapter 1 and then put it down and got something else. I really hate being like this. I loved her Effington books and her Last Man Standing trilogy, although the most interesting man was the last one who didn't get his story told. *harumpf* I am hoping that it is just a touch of my common first-thirty-page-irritation. I really hate introductions. I like books that are action from the get go and little character building in the typical refrain is done. I find the repeating of information annoying. It's my biggest pet peeve with Dark-Hunter books. I know the tale of the Apollite history like I know my own. We need a new way to tell it. //rant
As I mentioned earlier, Susan, Heather, D and I are going to see the Angels and the Blue Jays in Anaheim tomorrow. I like the fireworks so the last few years D and Belle and I have been going to see Dodgers games for the 4th. This year they aren't playing a home game so we all are going afield. I'm very happy to see Belle and Susan. The day should be good. I plan to take pictures, of course. Lots of pictures so I can spam this Vox with every color of the rainbow fireworks.
Shit.
The time has gotten away with me with the help of the new anti-psychotic that Dr. Scott prescribed for me. It makes me sleep 10-16 hours a day and when I am up I am curled up in bed wanting to sleep. It's not been kind to me. I have taken up with reading romance novels again. Self medicating with happily-ever-afters. So today I met with Dr. Scott again and he was disappointing but agreed that I am overly sedated and that I need to go back to the Lithium and Geodon. I am hoping that I shake the feeling of dysphoria and over-eating, soon. I definitely felt better before this change. But that is the reason why I have been shit with emails and writing in here. I have no get up and go other than to blow through books.
Speaking of which.... I have read too many in the last two weeks. I got a bit overly enthused with Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen and typically bleed almost tears at the great reveal because it was only an ever after and far from happy. I really liked Nate Cross though and Ruby Cooper didn't make me want to bite tacks either. I also read the second in the duology of Ephemera, Belladonna. I liked the second book much more than I liked the first, but having said that I thought that Sebastian was a better character in the second book than Michael was. I liked Belladonna and Lee... I really wished that Lee or Teaser would get their own books.
I read the graphic novel for Wanted last weekend. It is so vastly different from the screenplay adaptation... I don't think I could be so bold as to compare them. I will say that the graphic novel is very controversial. I don't like the comic book rendering or characterization of anyone. It is an antihero story where Wesley is pretty much a base character who does what he pleases, murder rape and anything in between. In the movie he is more of a victim of circumstances, very much untrue in the comic. The novel also is rather racist and misogynistic. It's a lot to swallow. I really didn't like it. I think I actually like the movie more, having read it.
Another CD that I have got my hands on is the new Alkaline Trio CD. I have had it on my desktop for a week now and haven't even listened to it. I am trying to push myself into the commitment to do so tomorrow. I have been a little on the fence about their last two releases. But to be honest, I think I am just a neophobe and everything new falls short of the old tried and true. I mean to play it a few times and see if I can't give it a bit more of a fair trial. To be really honest I am too unmotivated by new music these days. I keep playing my old favorites and shutting myself down to new stuff. It's a real ugly thing to do.
Now with being on the Lithium and Geodon again, I am hoping that I will have some sort of a drive again. I have felt really crumby about not collecting myself and putting thought down. I mustn't forget that I promised to do no fewer than three entries a week.
Oh and before I forget to mention it, Borders has released a date when they will market a Twilight 16-month calendar for 2009. This is a hint of the marketing blitz for the movie. It makes me a bit weary and it's still early. There is a 13 year old in me that wants the calendar and then a 34 year old that rolls her eyes. Why don't they market theme park rides? The Kellan Lutz amusement park ride and the Rob Pattinson adventure ride? I would pay good money for that kind of experience.
Speaking of experiences, no connection other than another afterthought, Evgeni Malkin! The man, the myth, the other white meat signed to a multi-year contract with the Pens. I was over the moon to hear it. I was worried with them letting Malone and Roberts go. I am a bit of purest and I hate change but I was singing my prayers when the news came across that my boy would be going no where. It almost makes it painful to have all these weeks before training camp and pre-season games start. I think that the Pens will be playing the Kings this year in LA too. It is definitely something to inspire one to have hockey thoughts.
Today is an inspired entry, 20 things that are good, just to remind myself that not everything sucks. So here I go in no special order.
1. Kitties. They are always good. I think mine are better than yours but kittycat people around the world should gather for the biggest cuddlefest in the known universe.
2. Angel: After the Fall. I like it much better than Season 4 Angel and almost as much as Season 5. It maintains the characterization from the TV show while pushing the limits of the Buffy/Angel-verses. I have to say that it's much better than the Buffy comics which just went places because they no longer had to deal with the limitations of the known budget and believability. 50 ft. Dawn and Lesbian Buffy, my ass.
3. BOOKS. Where do I start. I feel like my time on earth screws with my ability to read as much as I possibly could. There are too many good books. So hard to imagine a world without them. I think they are so much better than food and air. Books are true necessities.
4. Awake is the New Sleep by Ben Lee. I love this CD. I could listen to it on repeat for hours or not listen to it for a month and it always gives me the same warm and tinglies no matter what. I just don't get how Ben Lee can be so amazing and still be a mere mortal.
5. Lentil Loaf or Rice Loaf. The one thing I really miss about not eating meat is meatloaf. Lentil/rice loaf is a pretty good substitute. I wish I had it more often.
6. Diet Snapple. I'm a big fan of the Peach, Lemon and Raspberry and haven't tried the Plumagranite. Is that what it's called. Now I embarrassed myself not knowing the name of it.
7. The Gap. I am a Gap girl. I love it. I wish that the workers weren't such nazis but I can handle my own, sort of. Fall. Into. The. Gap.
8. Tide pools/Sea stars. I could spend all day at the ocean looking for sea life at the tide pools. There are days when I count how many sea stars we can find... the most was 14. I wish I could find the picture Aaron took with me and the giant sea star in Carpinteria.
9. 300. I don't know exactly what I love about this movie but I do, sincerely, love something about it. I know the humor is a bit stick to your ribs but it makes me giggle everytime. Gerard Butler is fantastic and it has Michael Fassbender in it and I think there is something about him. I loved him in Hex too.
11. Raspberries. I like to eat them out of the container, with little to no ceremony. An entire 6 oz plastic tray is barely enough for me. I also get raspberry iced teas from Iso: Fusion Cafe and it is made from syrup of raspberries. Mmmmmm.
13. Spoons. No one could have too many. Spoons are glorious. The only things that compete with them are straws. Spoons rock.
15. Barnes and Noble/Borders/Amazon. This sort of leads us back into number 3, but these are places not things. These three places are akin to Mecca. I just wish that they were more giving with their pricing of things. I guess they try with all the coupons and discounts, but books shouldn't be so expensive. Don't anyone bring up libraries... it's like prostitution for books. I like them being mine and mine alone.
18. Fountains and waterfalls. Maybe it's just water or could be the facade of happy waters. I do like rivers and oceans too. I am constantly taking pictures of water. Just today I took a pair of photos for my assignment from Dr. Moore, of a fountain.< Worst construction of a sentence commited in a long, long, long time.
19. Root beer. I know it is points damning but I love knee high bottles of Route 66, Sioux City, Boylan's, etc... I love Galco and I could spend hundreds of dollars there in no time.
20. Volvo commercial with the terribly adorable chatterbox little girl. I love her to death. If I were guaranteed to to have one just like her, I might explore other options.
The new meds that I am taking are kicking my ass big time. Dr. Scott thinks it's the Geodon reacting with the Clopazine so his idea is to just quit cold turkey, but that gives me sincere anxiety because it was doing the same thing last summer with the Geodon that put me in a tailspin. So I took less of the Geodon tonight and I'll titrate down over the next few days. I'm not one for sudden change but I did stop the Lithium. I'm flying without a net now. If Clopazine is this miracle drug that Dr. Scott thinks it is, then I should notice right away. This is the time that I should screw my courage to the sticking point. Optimism should come my way. I think I'll just sit here and wait for it. Considering I'm sleeping 12-16 hours a day, I have nothing better to do.
Today was nice. D stayed home from work to take me to see Dr. Scott and we started listening to a new book in the car, it's Robert Jordan's The Eye of the World. The reader has a bit of a goofy voice. His inflection is a bit silly but I'm trying to keep my head on straight and listen to the story. David listened to my stories, it's the least I can do for him in return. I found myself a couple of four packs of Diet Peach, Diet Lemon and Diet Raspberry Iced Tea Snapple. I can drink the stuff by the gallon and it's no points so it's guilt free. What I need is to buy it by the case. Maybe Target will have some Diet Snapple for me. The remainder of my day was spent on the internet playing with Amazon, Facebook, Twitter and Google Reader. There is truly nothing new on the internet.
I was impatient waiting for SYTYCD to come on. I don't know where the week has gone, it seems like it was only yesterday that Belle was here watching last week with me. I thought tonight was rather average. There was only one routine that blew me away and that was the Viennese Waltz that Kherington and Twitch danced. I thought they really performed and it was awesome to see Twitch with layers. My poor Matt and Kourtni couple... what can I say? They weren't the best they weren't the worst. I do have that tummy feeling that they will be in the bottom three though. It makes me sad. Please let me be wrong. Like last week, I liked Katee and Joshua, even though I hate Katee on the premise that she is a heinous whiner. I like Will but pray fervently that he and Jessica will be dancing for their lives. I would like Jessica gone on the grounds that her very breathtaking irritates a primal instinct in me to attack the ridiculous. I hope Susie goes soon too. Her whinging over not being able to handle something she claims is in her influence is absurd. Tomorrow would be excellent if they both went and then two guys were paired up for a while. I'm broad minded enough to say it would be a very progressive move. Oh, and lastly, Mia (take no fucking prisoners) Michaels is the very, very best judge. I was so over hearing Mary compliment each successively bad performance after another. I want a touch of Mia every week.
This weekend Get Smart comes out and I'm looking forward to seeing it. I really hope that Steve Carell isn't his usual knobiness. I'm not a fan of Michael when I watch The Office. I like Dwight and Jim a whole bunch more. But I'm not letting my dislike for Carell's comedy style color my opinion of the movie. I have some expectations. I don't mind dumb humor, as a matter of fact simple comedy does more for me than elaborate set ups. I can't wait to see Dwayne Johnson act in this. He tends to surprise me when I see him in a film. I usually have very low expectations so his being able to talk while moving his head is a feat in itself. And then there is Anne Hathaway. I expect the most from her. I really hope that she knocks it out of the park.
Tomorrow is a day to myself and I think I want to get further in my book and I'd like to organize some bookshelves. I don't even know most of the titles on my bookshelf in the livingroom. I feel like I'm reading at the slowest pace that I could possibly go. Of course it doesn't help that neither book that I'm reading is really keeping me occupied. Neither book is riveting. My whinging about books this is truly pathetic. I need to get over bad books, not take it personally or think of it as a failure of my own. But I'm so mind boggling compulsive to finish a book once I started it. Death wouldn't even be able to break these rules.
I'm in Las Vegas for Thanksgiving with D's family. We made pie using Belle's recipe and it was a success. Now everyone is splitting off to recuperate and regroup. I came on line to check my email and my fantasy hockey scores. I'm in misery this week as I'm getting my ass handed to me by the person who is doing worst in the league.
I started Mists of Avalon and haven't gotten too far in it yet but no one has had a bad thing to say about it yet. I did finish A Spot of Bother and I loved it in the end. It was clever and insightful. Very much in the vein of The Curious Incident of a Dog in the Night-time. D's mom gave me about 4 titles of books she thinks I might like. I sort of have it in me to not take on more reading until I get through some of the books I already have.
Tomorrow is the family portrait and I have no clue as to what else. I can hope for a day of reading and quiet but it is highly unlikely.
I have moments of clarity and a few moments ago was one of them. There is nothing more natural than change. What brought this on was my hard Fig Newton. When left to itself Bread becomes hard; chips become soft; ice melts, water evaporates. Life is things becoming something else if left to it's natural means. What that means for me is that medication makes for that change not to happen. Is psychiatry the rebellion of those natural transformation?
Not saying that I think I'm a Fig Newton or an ice cube, but I wonder if the cycle I am on isn't just the same cycle everything else is on. I don't like the down part but maybe it's necessary for the up and I don't know if I want the middle. I don't know what I want.
With all this thought being spent on thinking, you can imagine today has been tiring. D has been sick and I tried to clean a bit. I never got to Home Depot for primer for the walls. I hope maybe tomorrow will be different and I will get things done. I noticed today I have about 20 words for my personal lexicon. The nine I looked up today are below.
mendacious - telling lies, habitually dishonest; false or untrue.
hirsute - hairy, shaggy; having to do with hair.
surfeit - excess, an excessive amount; an uncomfortably full or crapulous feeling due to excessive eating or drinking.
gelid - very cold, icy.
lucre - monetary reward or gain.
cocottes - prostitute
politic - shrewd or prudent in practical matters; tactful or diplomatic.
fichu - a woman's kerchief or shawl, generally triangle in shape.
dudgeon - a feeling of resentment or offense, anger.
But it's more than the ups and downs and the unfinished things and the failure... I know it is. But I am so out of touch I don't know what is left. I don't know what's behind it. I have a list of things I want to do... Call Dr. Henry, email Jason Whitehead, start on the research for that paper. I want to go see Rebecca. I want to get a majority of these books read. I want to get this room painted and I want to set it up so we are comfortable. I want, I want... I want. I can't get anything done. It's like I'm handicapped.
So frustrating.
Further frustrating are the processes. The having to do things a certain way all the time. I find it exhausting. Would it be so bad to do things half-assed? I mean if I did the dishes like D does them, would the world come to an end? ...But I can't it feels so wrong. It feels like a betrayal.
My life is a whole lot like the act of chewing on foil while scratching my own eyes out. Why do I hate myself so much?
Our day 2 of Vegas was also rather chill... well minus the part where we went out to shops. But as we weren't looking to buy things it wasn't too bad. We did see some really stupid car accidents. It makes me think about the security of those driving in the City of Sin but they looked like rather tame accidents.
I finished an overly drawn out romance novel earlier. I am one of those people who feel a moral obligation to finishing a book regardless of the time where it becomes tiresome or trivial. I wish this was the same problem I have with tasks. I'd love to say that I must see a task through, but I tend to lose focus in matters of action. However, with books it different thing and the one today was a true stinker.
Frank replied to a message of mine today and mentioned that I hadn't been too clear as to what our purpose of being in Vegas visiting was. Actually he just said he wasn't sure why we were here not as accusatory as I almost made it sound... We are visiting D's sister Erin and her husband Charlie for the pre-holiday. It was for D because he was to be away from his family for Christmas and is pretty family oriented.
There are some other pictures of us too... and another of the kid. I really need to not take so many odd pictures of him turning his head away from us. It would have been nice if i'd brought my manual and taken a good one of him for D's folks... but snapshots are all they are going to get.
Tomorrow we are heading out before noon and I hope we will be home around 6. It's not that long of a ride but I'm allowing for traffic and my having to stop once an hour to pee. I'd like to stay awake this ride and take some pictures of the desert.
