15 posts tagged “kings”
There is a lot of hockey coming up. Thursday there will be a group of us going to see the Flames at the Kings. Mikey and Ollie will be meeting up with D, Belle and I and D said Paul and his girlfriend will be coming too. I am excited to see Chris because I haven't seen him since 2001/02 when he drove through Chico. I haven't seen Mikey since 2000. Then the weekend after next D and I will be driving up to SJ to see the Sharks play the Thrashers. I'll have my Torrey jersey then and we will fit in with all the Shark heads. I can't wait. Hockey in the day and WoW in a random hotel room with a jacuzzi at night. Heaven.
My sisters birthday was yesterday and she turned 13. A teenager. Now is the time where she starts to no longer make sense right? I hope that isn't the case. I do wish that I was home for her birthday. It's so hard being so far away. My mom said I got her too much for her birthday, but I feel I need to make up for not being there for her, Phone calls don't matter much in the end.
Tomorrow is another Gym day. I've been trying to go 4 times a week. Spending 30 minutes with strength training and then 45 minutes on the bicycle. I am usually sweaty and excerise high by the time I'm done. I am so impatient. I want to see results already and D has to remind me that it will be at least 6 months before I start to actually notice a change in weight or physical difference. I hope that I don't lose heart and stop going because I just won't wait. I am childish that way. Maybe I could look at it as just getting through one day at a time. Like tomorrow will just be the Tuesday that I have to get through and Wednesday will be that day. It's easier than thinking I have to get through 26 weeks of waiting. And I very badly want to look different.
Today I started Falcondance and I spoiled myself because I was getting rather high hopes that Nicias and Oliza would overcome odds and pair up but it doesn't look like it. I like Nicias and I am interested in seeing how the world away from the Diente and Tuuli Thea pans out. I still have Wolfcry and Wyvernhail to read after this. I liked Danica and Zane as teens. Now it is 20 years later. I find the Kiesha'ra books to be a little too reaching. I hope that the next one isn't 20 more years in the future.
I wish I didn't have to sleep. That I could read all night and all day.
I started a Blaze book today. I haven't read any in weeks and I figured it would be good to recalibrate with something of normal contemporary romance. Of course what I piced is a time travel story, but, hey. I think I will get a little feeling of accomplishment from working on the Blaze pile at all. Although I was just remembered that I would like to read Wondrous Strange as soon as possible so I will have to rush through this.
There are times when I become very aware that I don't have feelings or passions anymore, with the exception of reading which is more of a desperation. I desperately want to have some guiding inclination. Something that makes me feel like something other than a shell. I haven't cried since I was in the hospital. I just have no sense of poignancy at all. I want something to matter rather than all these silly obsessive/compulsive rituals. I don't even know where they are rooted in. Dr. Moore says it's anxiety, but most days I can't even work up to anxiety. My prevailing feelings are ones of tiredness and energy. But I want to feel like things have weight. Like I love things. Like I have love for things in this world beyond books and a hand bag. Don't get me wrong, my hand bag rocks but it's a limit to my adoration for the world, whereas I want a limitless feeling. I want to touch the world again and not feel as if it is a lifetime away. I think it's why I am so attached to Twilight because I feel so strongly about it. I love it and it almost feels real.
I had therapy yesterday and we talked about something that I am starting to feel terribly bad about and it's not very funny although for a while I was laughing about it. Dr. Moore made me realize how wrong I was to share the thought and now I just don't know how to take off the table. I think I'm going to avoid it and see if it won't go away. She'd be really proud of me taking that route too. Damn, what a mess.
Thursday night D and I are going to the Staples Center to see the Ducks play the Kings. Go Anze and Raitis. I would like to be able to stay up the entire game. We'll have to try it out as a new thing. There is just something embarassing about falling asleep at a sporting event. A year ago I would have been all for the Ducks but then they traded Andy. I have man-loyality. And Teemu and Beauchmin aren't playing. It leaves little to be excited about. Hell, they don't even have Bertuzzi for me to be excited about someone hitting. But it will be a good game. We will have fun.
Yesterday was a day full of surprises. I wore my green sweater with my green converse. They aren't grass green, more of a gem colour and it looked really good. It isn't often that I like what I wear. So it was a good start. I went to the bookstore to get Faefever and found Lord of Misrule was out on the shelves early. I whooped and jumped up and down. I have little self respect when it comes to books. I haven't started it yet but I plan to start it today. Oh where for art thou, Shane? I went to a hockey game. Kings vs. Flyers at the Staples Center. I found myself routing for the Flyers... and that is just not acceptable. I have never liked Philadelphia. Even when Mclaughlin was making me watch every game. But I do like Braydon Coburn and D has Scott Hartnell on his fantasy hockey team. It was a hard hitting game. I imagine they will be feeling it today. Although the Kings won in the end, I didn't see it because I fell asleep on D's shoulder and we left early. Hopefully I'll have a better time of it this Thursday when we go to see the Ducks play. I can route for the Kings that game. I never have gotten over them trading Andy McDonald.
I'm of half the mind to watch some TV today. This is highly unusual. I have the gym today so anything I would want to watch gets cut into by that. And then we are going to go and meet Jamie in LBC for some Indian. By then this idea will have burned off. Tomorrow I'm meeting Nicky online at 11:30 so it is out then too. Then I have Dr. Moore. I have plans to read Lord of Misrule sometime in the next 24 hours too so that leaves me really short on time. But I have Sinchornicity, which D found for me and Lost in Austen. D is going to have Hex come through on Netflix this week. I will have to readjust my mental thinking to work on this.
New Years Resolutions!!
I made a few... alright more than a couple. I was generous with my resolve and not doing so great on a few of them. But I will list them here so that I can look back and know which ones I need to work on.
- Go to the gym three times a week. 3 hours cardio and 1.5 weight training.
- Lose 15 lbs and keep it of.
- Be more mindful of my hygiene.
- Do something social each week.
- Read 5 books a week.
- Walk more.
- Clean the house one a month.
- Keep on top of the kitty litter.
- To let my hair grow. No cutting it.
I'm so excited for Christmas. I love opening presents. And I like Christmas to be a big affair. My mom is sending two more boxes of presents. She gives me plenty of gifts to unwrap. I am done shopping for D. My secret santa gift is under control. I think the gift I am most excited about is something I got for D. Although he never read the gift I was most excited about last year. He better be excited this year. Oh and I am excited about what I got for Belle. She's going to love it.
I've been doing a lot of downloading lately and I hit pay dirt today when I found Ripe by Ben Lee, The Perishers's Let There Be Morning and Nightcrawler, Pete Yorn's newest album. I also got some HIM albums I don't have and I cleaned up my Metric collection. I downloaded a bunch more too. I am happy to have so much new music. Although right now I am listening to Stellastarr* and I've had this cd for about four years. So maybe new music is wasted on me.
New Moon has a release date 20 November 2009. I am getting excited about it. I hope Chris Weitz doesn't fuck it up.
I got the best news this week. Nielle is going to buy her ticket to come and visit in April. I am already racking my brain as to things we can do. Maybe the LACMA, or the Science Center. Maybe to the Salton Sea. Maybe I will make her cook for me. I'm sure she will want to watch hours of the food channel. We will have tons of fun.
I had a really nice weekend. Saturday Belle came over and we all went
Anyway after all the fuss we sat down to watch the first 5 episodes of SYTYCD Canada. The first 4 episodes are the ones that generally drive me nuts. It's all the auditions and I would just as soon as see the real dancing then watch all the half assers. It just brings me no joy to watch the dancing dipshits. So I was a little over tired and rubbed the wrong way by the time it got down to the top 20. I like Nico and Arassay and Danny and Allie. I don't mind Lisa and Vincent, they are probably the better dancers but they are just unattractive as all hell. I like the pretty. It did strike me that they didn't have any b-boys or hip hoppers in the top 20. It tells me that all the hardy ones are in America. That's certainly sad. I like to think of Canada as a hope to which my country could aspire. This kind of weakness with all they wishy washy contemporary dancers is inexcusable.
Sunday night we went to the Sharks game at the Staples Center. It was interesting seeing Rob Blake dressed up in teal. And the poor man, he couldn't touch the puck without being booed very very loudly. Kings fans apparently hate him as much as they loved him. It's not like it's his fault he didn't wake up one day and decide to be a Shark. Of course no one wants to be on the Kings so that should be taken into account. It's the nature of the beast I guess. As for the rest of the game, all I have to say is that games where Nabby isn't in goal are infinitely shittier. If I had known that Nabby wasn't going to be between the pipes I would have had D take Paul. We know this for next time. I spent the night watching Kopi skate and then breaking glass with his stick. A temper tantrum that the A should bank. But it's Kopi and his feet alone make me tolerate a lot that I wouldn't from someone else. But he is the only reason to ever watch the Kings. The game was a one goaler. It was hardly offensive from either side and maybe both teams were tired of one another as it was the second night of a two-nighter. Who can say. I just know a few facts that I will impart... Boucher is a crap goalie and I will never like his goalie style. Kopi is sex on skates. Joe didn't show up to play. Cheechoo has a fire. JR will check everyone on the other team... and that might go for the goalie too. Kaspar should play like that in every game. Of course when the rookie is your only goal, some others aren't showing up in skates. I miss Lubo. And how long until Torrey
And today was my actual birthday. I got Twilight t-shirts and a hoodie. I also got Valiant and Ironside, so my Holly Black book trifecta is complete. D got me a Gap coat that I have been coveting. And the boy bought me roses. Awwww. I got gift certificates too. It was a hell of a pull. I don't deserve it but I totally appreciate it. My mom called me to wish my a Happy Birthday, as did Andy. The only person I felt the absence of was my grandmother. I won't hold death against her. It would have been nice to have heard her voice today though. I guess I wasn't as okay with her passing as I had thought.
Tonight was also the start of the Hockey season. I didn't watch any games. I am on a TV sabbatical today. Sunday D has tickets to see the Sharks at the Kings. I am looking forward to the live game. I'm just unsure of the televised ones. Vesa did win his first game though. Mmmm Vesa. I look forward to seeing the Leafs play the Kings. I will wear my jersey and bring my camera. I will moon over Vesku and my heart will go pitter patter. It will be a good time. I just don't know about games that are on tv. I want to smell the game.
Tonight I got to go to a hockey game and for once my team actually won. I am so tired of going to Kings games and having them lose. It sucks and makes me wish they would refund my money. But alas the Sharks won and I wasn't bitter although it did make me lose to D in fantasy hockey for tonight. I only got 9 shots on goal all night. Pathetic. And this week is to determine who goes to the finals so if I can't bail my ass out it'll be D taking the spot and then I will be all torn up inside. Metaphorically torn that is, I swear not to be suicidal over fantasy hockey. Although I am incredibly happy with my team and wish we had the keepers league so I could be guaranteed the same team next year.
Emails have been exchanged much lately. I always email Nielle regularly but now I have someone else to email regularly and that is Connie. We so far managed a week of emailing and it has been pleasant. Since we lost touch I thought it would be weird us playing catch-up, but it hasn't been. I like it a lot. Of course this is me when I'm relatively social and feeling like being part of the world. What will happen when I don't want to get out of bed and I'm isolating? All these new links to friends will be tested and I am sad already because I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure.
Speaking of friends. Were we? I want them again. I don't know how to meet new people and I don't feel a whole lot like being a social whirlwind, but I want to have what my other friends have. I want to have people to shop with and to talk to. I want to have someone who's house I can go over and just hang out. Or someone who can meet me at the 101 and get breakfast with. I want to have someone who will go out on Friday night and go to the movies with me. Someone who will come over my house and watch tv, whether it be hockey, BSG or something else. I am so tired of having no friends.
Tomorrow I might get back the results of my first exam. I am anxious, both excited and terrified. I assume that tomorrow will determine the tone for the rest of the class. And I also suspect that I will get more information on going to the Getty Villa. It will be okay no matter what I got on the test. And it will all work out about going to the Villa. It has to be.
I hesitate to write here. Things are just better held in these days. I am reticent to convey my thoughts and find myself avoiding calls, conversations and interaction. So I'm like a shaken bottle of soda water and the slightest thing sets me off.
David, in an attempt to get me to read less, took me out the last two nights. We saw the Ducks and Kings last night and tonight we went to the Grove to see Beowulf. I had a good time even if the Ducks played the most trivial first period. Tomorrow we are going to Crystal's birthday party. We haven't seen here in literally years. I think the wedding was the last time I even talked to her. It will be good to see her again.
Last night a friend from home got in touch with me. We touched basis and it was nice to hear from him again. Sort of like going back in time. He wasn't surprised to hear that I'd been diagnosed with bipolar. He said he could have told me that back when he was in ninth grade. I found myself feeling a little homesick. But not for home as it is now but for home when Chris and I would go bowling or play hockey. Back when we drank too much and things were so new. I feel like it was another lifetime. It's something that makes me feel very sad about where I am today.
Heather was over yesterday. I love the girl incredibly. We talked a lot about the future and feelings. She is so smart about how I react to things. She understands me very well. I am unbelievably lucky.
I'm still reading A Spot of Bother. I would be done with it by now were it not for the fact that I only read it on the bus or while waiting for doctor's appointments. I am liking it now. I think I will finish it this week and then D can read it and I can start The Mists of Avalon. Maybe I'll sneak Gilgamesh into the middle of those.
