4 posts tagged “family”

It's been a while since I posted and it's probably because I have spent every spare moment playing WoW or reading. And what I've been reading is just fluff. I got to level 25 with my WoW character. D and I have done some dungeon missions and I have a couple gold pieces now. I kind of want to play Dead Mines or the Stockade instead of the skeleton quests we are doing now but I like the xp from doing these stupid little quests. I love playing with D though. It's the most fun that I've had in a long while. I found the mercenary side of myself who likes to kill for the loot.

As for reality... and I guess I mean that term loosely as I'm speaking of books. Jason and I are reading You Shall Know Our Velocity! by Dave Eggers. I'm going to start it today. We have to read it with some haste as I won't have it for too long. Nielle read another title by the same other and says that it was pretty good and that I should like it. Time will tell.

There is a lot of hockey coming up. Thursday there will be a group of us going to see the Flames at the Kings. Mikey and Ollie will be meeting up with D, Belle and I and D said Paul and his girlfriend will be coming too. I am excited to see Chris because I haven't seen him since 2001/02 when he drove through Chico. I haven't seen Mikey since 2000. Then the weekend after next D and I will be driving up to SJ to see the Sharks play the Thrashers. I'll have my Torrey jersey then and we will fit in with all the Shark heads. I can't wait. Hockey in the day and WoW in a random hotel room with a jacuzzi at night. Heaven.

My sisters birthday was yesterday and she turned 13. A teenager. Now is the time where she starts to no longer make sense right? I hope that isn't the case. I do wish that I was home for her birthday. It's so hard being so far away. My mom said I got her too much for her birthday, but I feel I need to make up for not being there for her, Phone calls don't matter much in the end.

Yesterday D and I had to wait at the car wash for the car to be done and he snapped a picture of me that I didn't totally hate. You can see the new color in it. Although no one has noticed that I have gone from being a red head to having black hair. Oh well, you can only try and everything is up to outside forces.

So today has been mad interesting. I don't talk often about my family on here and it's because it is just not a situation I like to advertise. I love my family but they are frustrating and they make me wonder how I have survived them this long. I'm not talking about the family I have with D but rather where I came from. My roots, if you will.

Today I called home and talked to my mom for a while and she didn't do the thing she usually does to me where she doesn't listen to a thing I say and then starts conversations about random trivially shit that just drives me crazy. We actually had a conversation. It was really nice. But then I talked to my sister and that changed everything.

My sister is 12 and she is rather tight-lipped. She isn't a big communicator. I don't think she understands much of how she feels about anything or what makes any of those feelings come to life. I love her more than anything and I want really desperately for her life to be something. I asked her today if she was happy and she told me that no, she's not happy at all. She didn't know how to change it and my suggestion of reading and journaling was met with disagreement. Apparently the kid hates to read. (I don't know how we can be related if that is true.) I remember how lonely it is to grow up where she is. We live in a pretty unpopulated area. I say 'we' like I still live there. The place is just really empty and she spends almost all her time with adults, much like I did. It's just short of hell for a young person and I just don't have any answers for her. I would buy or give her anything she wanted to make it better but not even she knows what that might be. It all frustrates and saddens me. She has at least 6 more years of this and she doesn't have the escape of books to make it bearable. I don't know what to do.

On to other less depressing things. I changed my banner again. I love the picture here and I also made a iPhone desktop of it too. So now I hope to see the picture everywhere I look and maybe I can make myself sick of it.

Speaking of pictures, there is a new movie still out today. I only have eyes for the running Edward, so I never noticed the running Rosalie in the background. D had to point it out to me. I don't mind getting these small tastes and bites of Twilight. It makes me all the more hungry for the movie. There is a rumor that there is another trailer to be released tomorrow night on Entertainment Tonight. I can't wait for someone to upload it so I can post it on here.

As for tomorrow night... I will be attending the Red Carpet Premiere of Step Brothers in Westwood with D, Susan and Belle. We got the passes while in line at the So You Think You Can Dance taping last Thursday. The movie trailer tickles me something awful so I am really looking forward to it.

WOOHOO! 4th of July! My most favoritist of holidays! I know, I know... enough of the exclamations, but it is the best holiday ever! It's the day when fireworks happen. I love them fireworks. Yes, it's my version of Christmas. I live for this day. I grew up with it being the one holiday that my mom would make sure to celebrate with me and it means something about family and warm and fuzzy stuff.

This year Susan, Belle, D and I went to Anaheim to see an Angels and Blue Jays game. D surprised me because right in the middle of the park is a huge waterlandscape. Is waterlandscape even a word? It's a fountain, and I wish we were closer to it. It kind of gave me a water hazard feeling from putt putt. We had pretty nice seats, well in my opinion. We were on the field and up the firstbase line. Maybe if I watched any of the game I would have something else to say about things. It was a pretty okay place to sit for the fireworks and that was what really was important to me.

I, of course, have no idea what the score was... I read during the game. I wasn't the only one, because Belle, who was appalled by the lack of skill the Blue Jays were showing, read Fragile Things. She assures me it isn't any better than I thought, but she has pulled through and read much further than I did. I do know that the Angels won by a lot and they didn't play all of the last inning because of it. Baseball is not like hockey and I just don't really care to know the intricacies of it. I do wish Canada had a better showing. They probably let us win because of it being a holiday and all.

The fireworks were really nice. I am going to go down nostalgia lane and talk a bit about what kind of magical wonderness fireworks mean to me. When I was a child my mom and I would go to Lake Ariel, that is in PA, and we would set up in the church yard by this big rock and we would get a pizza, from Kay's Pizza and we would 'ooo' and 'ahh' as the fireworks went off over the lake. A few times after I was married we went other places, one time was Lake Wallenpaupack and there was pizza there too. It was tradition in a world where there just wasn't any sort of traditions. This became really important to me. So now, as an adult, I have to re-enact this tradition to overcome this feeling of disconnection with that old life, that old me. Every year I have to go see the fireworks and remind myself that no matter how abnormal and warped my childhood was, I had this one normal thing. I had this one time when family was something. So fast forward 30 odd years and we come to this year. I was a little disappointed in my inability to capture the shots I wanted to with the camera, but as I got twenty some pictures, I need to get a grip and not cry too much.
Belle through me for a loop today. She landed herself some tickets to see So You Think
You Can Dance for the performance show and results show this week and she wanted to know if I wanted to go. I sure as by golly did! I even channeled some Mary there. So I had to email Dr. Moore when I got home tonight about canceling therapy so that I can go on Monday. I am a little nervous about how I will go and deal with the crowd but I am really excited. Of course it is the week AFTER Matt and Kourtni were voted off though. Booo! I was disappointed because I still think Comfort and Jessica should have gone before Kourtni and Thayne should have gone rather than Matt. But it didn't go that way and I will have to watch Thayne and Jessica *ahem* entertain me on Monday. I wish it weren't so. The one thing I was happy and then disappointed by was seeing Lacey and Benji. Benji did a WCS for Joshua and Katee and it was really not impressive. Sad.

I started a new book today and I am really excited by it. I finished French Kissing by Nancy Warren while at the game and I had brought along Dead Connections in case I was feeling uninspired by the game. I have to say, I am barely into it, 34 pages, and it has a really awesome sense to it. I love the tone of the story. It has a biting sense of humor and the characters are really varied, to the point of near schizophrenia. I love the main characters Murray and Pearl they have zing to their interactions that I haven't seen in a book since Christopher Moore books. There is a really messed up character, well they are all pretty messed up but there is one that is more so then others, his name is Mr. Robert Barry Compton and he makes me smile everytime his insanity is shared. I think I struck the mother load with this book. I am so happy that I went and picked it up. I may have to get D to read it when I am done.

And lastly, Blood and Chocolate. After we got home from the game tonight I talked D into watching the movie with me. I had read enough criticism about the movie to know that it was vastly different from the book and that became apparent in the first minute of the film. I was mostly confused as I tried to figure out who was who and what was what. The adaptation was so horrible that it was a clusterfuck of lore and bits and pieces of the book with pure fabrication. I felt terrible for Hugh Dancy and fans of the book. Neither deserved the tripe this movie served up. It was no longer a coming of age story which was what made the book so interesting. They villanized one of the [heroes??] of the book. I didn't like him in the book but I really didn't like him in the movie. And then they defied one of the principle storylines of the book with Rafe and killed him off midway through. Hey sorry if I just spoiled you, but you didn't want to see this movie anyway. I want my memories of the mediocre book back... now I have this bad taste in my mouth and these horrible images in the back of my eyes. No wonder it only made 6million in the box office. Yes, six million. Everyone else was smarter than me and held off seeing it.

I'm hating the weather. Did I just reduce this journal to an entry about the weather. Proof that I am at a loss of things to talk about. But it is ungodly hot for the end of October. I'm reading Mark Haddon's new book. It's got the same staccato line delivery as A Dog... I'll let you know more when I have finished it.