9 posts tagged “ducks”
I started a Blaze book today. I haven't read any in weeks and I figured it would be good to recalibrate with something of normal contemporary romance. Of course what I piced is a time travel story, but, hey. I think I will get a little feeling of accomplishment from working on the Blaze pile at all. Although I was just remembered that I would like to read Wondrous Strange as soon as possible so I will have to rush through this.
There are times when I become very aware that I don't have feelings or passions anymore, with the exception of reading which is more of a desperation. I desperately want to have some guiding inclination. Something that makes me feel like something other than a shell. I haven't cried since I was in the hospital. I just have no sense of poignancy at all. I want something to matter rather than all these silly obsessive/compulsive rituals. I don't even know where they are rooted in. Dr. Moore says it's anxiety, but most days I can't even work up to anxiety. My prevailing feelings are ones of tiredness and energy. But I want to feel like things have weight. Like I love things. Like I have love for things in this world beyond books and a hand bag. Don't get me wrong, my hand bag rocks but it's a limit to my adoration for the world, whereas I want a limitless feeling. I want to touch the world again and not feel as if it is a lifetime away. I think it's why I am so attached to Twilight because I feel so strongly about it. I love it and it almost feels real.
I had therapy yesterday and we talked about something that I am starting to feel terribly bad about and it's not very funny although for a while I was laughing about it. Dr. Moore made me realize how wrong I was to share the thought and now I just don't know how to take off the table. I think I'm going to avoid it and see if it won't go away. She'd be really proud of me taking that route too. Damn, what a mess.
Thursday night D and I are going to the Staples Center to see the Ducks play the Kings. Go Anze and Raitis. I would like to be able to stay up the entire game. We'll have to try it out as a new thing. There is just something embarassing about falling asleep at a sporting event. A year ago I would have been all for the Ducks but then they traded Andy. I have man-loyality. And Teemu and Beauchmin aren't playing. It leaves little to be excited about. Hell, they don't even have Bertuzzi for me to be excited about someone hitting. But it will be a good game. We will have fun.
The Ducks blew their series tonight, Dallas moves on to next round. I feel vindication for the McDonald trade now. Not that I was totally wishing bad on them. Only I wasn't wishing good on them either. The Sharks had a terrible showing this evening. It was god-awful. I hope, for D's sake, that they can pull it together for Tuesday nights game.
The last two days D has been on a Lord of the Rings kick and we have the extended scenes DVDs. So it was four hours last night and again tonight. I have decided that it's not Orlando Bloom who's hott in the movies but it is Legolas. He's just really clever and competent. Right after Aragorn, he's the next bad ass. I am supposing that the hell will commence tomorrow night. Maybe we will do that Deadwood run after this.
I have convinced Nielle to read Twilight. She has been sending me these updates after each chapter which makes me smile. I love seeing through virgin eyes. Tonight she sent me something that made me laugh out loud.
goodness.
I'd like two actually. One for weekdays and one for weekends.the whole "i've never tried to keep a specific person alive before, and ti's much more troublesome than i would have believed"...i think i will get you an Edward for your birthday. i definitely think you need one.
Speaking of Twilight. MTV has a video that they put up today about the upcoming movie. I am very excited about the movie. The action shots look really good. I even have to say the tree shots look interesting.
Battlestar tonight was nerve wracking. I want to know what is happening with the Sixes and the Eights. I was very happy with the end of the Chief and Callie story. I never liked her. Kara as a little bit crazy is par for the course. I love seeing her on the edge. I sort of hope she and Lee are reunited. I want the happy ending. There was a lack of Baltar which I was a little disappointed by, but that just means there will be a ton of him next week.
Tomorrow D and I are going to see Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I guess I am still mildly Veronica Mars fan-ish. Kristen Bell is part of why I want to see this movie. I also loved Knocked Up and it's by the same people that made it. After D has promised me a trip to the bookstore. He's going to get Belladonna, the next book after Sebastian. I want to look for a copy of the Iliad. I'm not sure I'm buying it. I could BookMooch it, but I think if I get it, I want it to be a nice edition. I have yet to get my 2nd issue of the Iliad in comic form so I haven't started reading the comic yet. Although, note to self: the 5th issue came out on Wednesday and I haven't got it yet.
I spoke with my father yesterday. He wasn't expecting her to make it through the night. I am assuming, as I haven't heard from him as of yet, that she is still fighting. I was hoping that this would be fast. He tells me she isn't suffering, that they have her on pain medication so she isn't feeling anything. But he also tells me her respiration is shallow and at only 6 breaths a minute, so she's slowly suffocating. That still is an awful way to die.
My heart was broken this weekend when I found out the Ducks had traded my favorite player to the Blues. I was shocked and didn't want to be a Ducks fan anymore because they totally are stacking their team with thug style players. Alas, I watched the Blues game today and Andy Mac got a goal and an assist and played with Boyes and Kariya on the first line. He should do really well there and I'm happy for him. The Ducks really weren't the right fit for him anymore and this move may mean he gets the opportunity to play the sort of hockey that is made for him.
David kicked my ass this week in fantasy hockey. He said he was due a win. It feels crappy to lose and I don't like it. I did make a bunch of changes this week. I added Vesa and I hope that doesn't doom him to bad play. I also added Daniel Carcillo for his PIMs but he got me a goal and no penalties the first time I played him. I think that I might make one more move in the next week or so. We shall see. I do love me my fantasy hockey.
The next game that we will be going to is the Sharks at the Kings on the 26th. David loves his San Jose Sharks. I had hoped to get him a jersey for Christmas but by the time I started looking they were sold out of large sweaters. Now with Andy in St. Louis though we will each get a jersey in the new year. Mine will just be a Blues jersey and not a Ducks one. And we will go see the Kings when the Blues play them to see Andy play then.
I hesitate to write here. Things are just better held in these days. I am reticent to convey my thoughts and find myself avoiding calls, conversations and interaction. So I'm like a shaken bottle of soda water and the slightest thing sets me off.
David, in an attempt to get me to read less, took me out the last two nights. We saw the Ducks and Kings last night and tonight we went to the Grove to see Beowulf. I had a good time even if the Ducks played the most trivial first period. Tomorrow we are going to Crystal's birthday party. We haven't seen here in literally years. I think the wedding was the last time I even talked to her. It will be good to see her again.
Last night a friend from home got in touch with me. We touched basis and it was nice to hear from him again. Sort of like going back in time. He wasn't surprised to hear that I'd been diagnosed with bipolar. He said he could have told me that back when he was in ninth grade. I found myself feeling a little homesick. But not for home as it is now but for home when Chris and I would go bowling or play hockey. Back when we drank too much and things were so new. I feel like it was another lifetime. It's something that makes me feel very sad about where I am today.
Heather was over yesterday. I love the girl incredibly. We talked a lot about the future and feelings. She is so smart about how I react to things. She understands me very well. I am unbelievably lucky.
I'm still reading A Spot of Bother. I would be done with it by now were it not for the fact that I only read it on the bus or while waiting for doctor's appointments. I am liking it now. I think I will finish it this week and then D can read it and I can start The Mists of Avalon. Maybe I'll sneak Gilgamesh into the middle of those.
S-s-s-s-s-s-sAT-ur-dayyyyyyyyy.
I spent the last 2.5 hours answering emails. There are still 9 emails to respond to in my inbox, but I am happy I got it down to that. I really hate having stuff pile up.
So today D and I are going to see Ducks at Kings. More Brian Boyle and Jack Johnson. Our seats this time are right behind the players. I am going to take the camera and see what pictures I can take. I get giddy at being at games. *sigh* Hockey really is a good de-stress-ifier.
My ankles are not the size of a baby elephants anymore. Dr. Nima apologized to me last night for the side effects. I thought it was sort of funny. Like he is to blame for me having a hard time with things.
Last night D's dad, D and I went for Indian. I had some leftovers for elevensies today. And it was spicy goodness. My Aloo Gobi has potatoes in it this time. The last few times I got it, it was all Gobi and no Aloo. But last night it was a whole lot of Aloo. And I am a starch lover.
It's noon and I don't know what to do with today.
Ah... this weekend has been a busy busy one.
Friday snuck up on me. I thought it was Thursday and I feel cheated of a day last week... I lost it, or someone stole it. Either way, I was rushed Friday morning when Mario called to plan our date.
He arrived after 12:30 and we went to The Grove and bought tickets to see a movie. We saw Night at the Museum and we bought vegetables. Afterwards we came back to the apartment and I had to put on the Anaheim game while I made us soup. We watched hockey until almost 7:30 and then we went to see an old friend while her other half was away. It was around 11:30 when we got home and I couldn't sleep.
Saturday D and I got up and went out to deal with errands at Target and Home Depot. Having not slept the best, I lost steam and napped in the middle of painting the livingroom. D being the trooper he is continued while I was in the Land of Nod. I came out to find the majority of the painting done. He primered and painted one wall and had given the other the final coat.
Due to the stench of the primer, I suggested we get out of the house and we went to the mall. We got tickets to see Eragon and then we walked around for a while. D got a new coat at The Gap and we got books from Barnes and Noble. The showing was for 10:15 and we didn't get home until almost 1. Again I had trouble sleeping and I was up reading until almost 4.
This morning was hard. I was just feeling out of sorts. I ended up going back to bed and I slept until nearly 1 in the afternoon. But I still wasn't feeling right and I took a long soak in the bath before we had to leave at 3 for LBC. We planned to see an ECHL hockey game for the end of our 2006. To end the year right. We got our tickets and went to CPK for dinner before the game. The Ice Dogs were playing the Falcons. It was a nice time and afterward we came home for an early night of sorts.
Of course I'm not built that way and I insisted we move around the furniture. It took us only about 40 minutes for me to find peace with the situation and we could watch the Ducks game that we TiVoed. So now I am trying to back up some photos so I can clean off my picture folder for this year. I was going to do an end of the year post... but I'm not feeling it tonight... maybe tomorrow.
*sigh*
Anaheim Ducks at the Kings. It was a good game. It was a good good time. Okay... I admit, I am totally in love with hockey, have been for years and years... but yesterday was special. I took a ton and a half of pictures we sat only 13 rows from the ice on the hometeam blue line which means I saw close up--Anaheim spanking the Kings. It was wonderful. Euphoric! Euphoricerful.
So yes... MANY PICTURES.
You ready for >obsession< the pictures? Of course you are excited. Me too... I could pee.
Pregame warm-up:
YAY!!! And my Ducks are still 1st in the League in points.
So after the game D and I went down to Long Beach and hung out with Mario. Mario is good people 110%. We took some time before we met with him to get me new balls for my nose ring. We then stopped by and took some pictures of the sunset over the marina and the Christmas lights.
Yesterday was quite quite awesome, indeed.
