She views the world through the eyes of others. Black and white; there are no colors.

I am having a lot of fun playing WOW. D and I just leveled up to 7 last night and I got spells. I love it. I think it is safe to say that the 14 day trial is going to become a permanent thing. I think my favorite quest so far were the Kobold Tunnelers with the gold dust. It was hard. We couldn't have completed it on our own and it was harried at times but the loot was unbeatble. And I do love me some good loot. I was tempted last night to take a shiny seashell though because I LOVE seashells. Man, I love this game.

So the other day I sat down and read some of the comics I have that has just been staring at me. I got around to LOA Knight of Darness #2&#3. It's been about a year since I read the books and there are things that I forget about until they are happening. I do have to say that Blaise is seemless. I like how they have drawn Varian and so far no naked Merewyn so she doesn't have bulging sinew. Score one there. I am looking forward to more stuff with Derrick, Merrick and Erik. I'm pleased with it. Oh and I got a bonus surprise the other day. I found Darkness Within, the 3rd Lords of Avalon book will come out this year sometime. I don't know any more info than sometime, but I will just keep an eye open.

So it's been a while and it keeps slipping my mind to make mention of it but... I guess they offered Dakota Fanning the part of Jane in New Moon and I love the girl so all the more power to them getting her. I would like Taylor Lautner to grow a foot as well. Which one is more likely?

I'm almost done with City of Ashes at the gym. My theory of the week is that Simon lived through the sun coming up because he had Jace's blood in him and Jace is, as Valentine is the first to admit, altered. Only 53 more days until City of Glass. I can't wait. You can't begin to understand what a fiend I am for The Mortal Instruments. I love Jace to pieces. Oh I got too excited thinking about it. I want to jump up and down. If I could take only 3 books with me to the moon it would be these three. And I beat myself a bit because I bought the book, City of Bones, and didn't read it for two months. I could have fell in love that much sooner. Wasted time reading other books. When these are my soul mates. Speaking of soul mates. I realize that I owe Belle an apology. I finished The Vampire Academy and I didn't hate it. Once the school makes Rose cry I liked the book much more. And I do ship Rose and Dimitri even though I think I got spoiled for his fate and if it is so then I will go back to not liking the series much. I liked Christian and Mason right up to the end but Dimitri is my real fascination and the make out scene got my hopes up to crash them down with the scene in the gym. Augh. Boys are sometimes harsh. I also finished Shattered Mirror this morning. The book was frustrating (no happy ending), the heroine was impetuous to a fault, the most likeable characters are shit on by Sarah--I liked Christopher. There is this threesome vampire feeding that sounded a lot like really dirty, creepy sex. And there is unrequited love in a seriously fucked up way. I'll probably read it again but it weighed heavily on my mind, especially having just left Rose in an unhappy way this morning that I need a happy ending. I can't just read these frustrating books. My romantic heart doesn't sit easy with such things. I like soul mates. Don't make me read Twilight again.

So as I sit here, post finished, listening to Taking Back Sunday, I feel unable to close it out and have that be all. I've been feeling, and being more vocal, about this ever growing feeling of disenchantment with my life. I miss writing. It just feels like words are utilitarian now--they've lost their ability to mean deeper things. I'm feeling more detached. Distance seems to be growing between me and friends. The world is leached of real joy and in it's place is all these black and white things. Objects really, nothing personified. It makes me feel like hiding more behind things I can lose myself in, just so I can forget how little of life I live. And there is only one or two people that I can talk to because of these chasms that have leapt up where once I had faith in friends. They are just strangers who spend their lives in other worlds that don't even rub up against mine. I'm not even lonely really, I'm just utterly alone. No feelings but anger and fear, no dreams past reading books, nothing can make me happy. I don't see why people like me even exist. We find life support so we don't die but we don't have anything to live for. No future. It seems pathetic.